Consciously Guilty

Why do we travel? I have thought about this question a lot while moving through places that are not mine.

Travel blogger Claire West (2024) describes tourism as an “invasion into someone else’s day-to-day life,” something most would never tolerate. This begs the question: when does curiosity turn into intrusion?

When I reflect on some of my most cherished travel memories — sifting through thrift stores in Madrid, playing chess with an older Chilean man in a park while we shared bits of our lives in Spanish or joining the crowds to listen to live music and dance as the sun set over Piazzale Michelangelo — I hold them extremely dear.

To me, these moments are priceless. A commonality in all of these experiences is the observation and interaction with people from different cultures. The thrift store gave me a new perspective on Spanish city style. The chess master, between sips of maté, told me of his peaceful life and the jewelry shop that had been a town staple for 20 years. The piazza reminded me how many people can be brought together by music and how easy it is to forget the simple things. These people, and their homes, offered me new experiences and stories. Did I leave any impact on them?

A high school backpacking trip introduced me to the ethical principle of Leave No Trace, an environmental framework built around experiencing the outdoors while minimizing human impact. I have tried to let these ideas fold into the way I travel but shifting into this mindset was difficult.

First, it required me to acknowledge there were things I did while traveling that were disruptive. Second, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. When I traveled, I felt like I was doing something wrong simply by being there.

Suddenly, I was aware that every bone in my body was American. I knew that I tended to speak too loudly, walk too quickly and be impatient. I knew that, as a traveler, my Airbnb contributes to the housing crisis and the unequal burden that tends to fall on local residents in tourism economies. Should these uncertainties keep us from going places?

I say no. Personal growth takes the willingness to initially feel awkward and out of place. Plus, I like who I become when I travel. It transforms me into the most curious version of myself.

The more places I go, the more I learn that through my actions, I control the impact I leave.

I have found grappling with this discomfort to be one of the most rewarding and educational parts of being in a new place. A guilt that once made me hesitant to make introductions or take up space, now makes me conscious and intentional in my decisions and interactions.

I extend conversations with shop owners, and sometimes I am lucky enough to receive a lunch spot recommendation. I challenge myself to pick up on phrases or slang. I try to experience the trip through their shoes.

Learning how others spend their time has recentered habits and values that I had fallen out of in college. I host dinner parties, walk with friends and do an activity outside almost every day.

Travel has not made me quieter. It has made me more deliberate. I still move through places that are not mine, but I try to do so gently, consuming more than I create. Curiosity does not have to be an intrusion and it is possible to travel without burdening people in their homes. Traveling has taught me how big the world actually is and how many ways there are to learn.